


The wasted years, the wasted youth

by orphan_account



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Animal Death, Child Abuse, Death, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Since its exploring bits and pieces of Yut's childhood, This fic is gonna be pretty sad and messed up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 05:24:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16423226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Little snippets of times in Yut-Lung's childhood





	1. Fly Free

**Author's Note:**

> This idea hit me. Not sure where it's gonna go or how much I'm gonna do for it, but here we go.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yut-Lung is twelve when he finds a sick bird.

Yut-Lung had been sitting in his backyard, under a tree. In his hand was a book, one he had to read for his studies, but also one he enjoyed. He liked reading. It was better than the other things he was made to learn to do. He glanced up from his book and saw something on the ground. It was twitching and attempting to get up. Yut-Lung closed his book and set it aside, as he slowly crawled through the grass. Once he got closer he saw a tiny bird, no bigger than his hand. It couldn’t be too old and it was struggling to get up. Without looking at it for long Yut-Lung already knew it was sick. He debated between putting it out of its misery or taking in inside to care for it. In the end he carefully picked the bird up and took it inside. He put it in a small box, gave it a little blanket and when dinner came around he snuck milk away for it. 

He ended up naming the bird Rio after finding out the bird was a girl. Yut-Lung smiled as the bird started to get better. She started to fly a little and Yut-Lung was joyed he could free her soon. 

As Yut-Lung laid on his bed, watching Rio attempt to fly he thought about himself. How he wanted to fly, but his wings had been clipped. He then thought about how the bird didn’t really have much knowledge on what freedom was. She didn’t understand the concept. He could keep her here forever and it was likely she would never know the difference.Yut-Lung understood it all too well and some days he wished he didn’t. Sometime he wished he could be as free and ignorant as the baby bird hopping around on his bed. 

Yut-Lung was heart broke when Rio suddenly died. As sudden as she’s been okay, she was gone and as he sat on his bedroom floor, holding her tiny body close to his chest, he sobbed. His attention was pulled from Rio, dead in his hands, when the door opened. His oldest brother stood in the doorway and he looked angry. He stomped over, snatching the body from Yut-Lung’s hands. He handed it off to one of the servants and took a fist full of Yut-Lung’s hair. 

Yut-Lung expected the hit before it ever made impact. 

Yut-Lung lied in bed, eye blacked from his brothers fist as tiny sobs escaped him. He rolled on his side and thought about Rio. He made a vow he wouldn’t die like she did. He’d fight his way out and he’d live. 

He just wanted to fly free.


	2. To be a family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Yut-Lung was six he hoped they could be a family. All he ever wanted was a family.

Yut-Lung had a family. It wasn’t like other families. Not like in the books he read when he had the chance. They are together, sometimes, but they didn’t talk about their day. They ate in silence for the most part aside from his brothers talking about business. Business that Yut-Lung’s young mind didn’t fully understand. He didn’t understand a lot of things his brothers did. What they did to his mother included. 

He understood it was wrong and that his mother was hurt. Even more so, after months of not seeing his mom he understood she was gone and wasn’t coming back. He missed her. She was kind to him, petting his head and telling him how precious he is. He missed her kindness. His brothers never praised him, only in a condescending manner. They only treated him kindly when he obeyed their every word, like a puppet. Even then, they didn’t always treat him kindly. 

Yut-Lung really wanted to be a family. He wished for it every time he was given the chance to. He’d sit on his bed at night and wish for his mother’s return and that his brothers love him. He just wanted someone to show him kindness. He’d fall asleep crying while thinking about all the things that might have been. 

Yut-Lung was eight when he learned his brothers would never love him. The last two years spent in foolish hope that they’d warm up to him. They’d see his small frame, crying for love and they’d find it in their hearts to care for him. Surely no human could be so cruel as to just not love their own blood. A child nonetheless. It was a foolish, childish hope because his brothers never loved him. Every tug of his hair, every hit his body took, every night spent crying in bed. Yut-Lung hated it. With every bit of his young body and mind he felt that hate. It grew in him and it nurtured him, like his family should have. It made him bitter and cold and refined. It shaped him into who he was. Who he’d become and his brothers would still sneer and call him cruel names. Because nothing was ever good enough for them. 

Yut-Lung would never have a family. No matter how bad he wanted one.


End file.
